13 Mar Funlayo Says…: How Can I be Better?
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Wants to be Better says…
I am emailing you as I sit at work, a place I am not too happy to be at, however I feel all of that is about to change. I may be going back into the field I enjoy working the most in and I am so excited. The reason I am reaching out to you is because my mind and spirit are racing and I am trying my best to come to terms with what I must do to get my life in order. I want to be more positive, more spiritually in tune with life, most of all I want to be more centered. There have been times in the past where I thought I knew what I wanted or how I wanted my life to be, simply put: I was wrong. I’m not asking to be perfect, I just want to be better. I would like some feedback on how I can go about making a change or how I can go about moving in the right direction. I’m not a spiritual person, I don’t believe in all these different religions, but I do feel there is a higher power and I do pray to my ancestors. Are there any books, or tools you feel may help me to gain some clarity and help me to be more positive?
Blessed greetings to you! I thank you for reaching out to me and hope that you visits to Ase Ire help to bring a little sunshine into those times when you’re at work. I pray all the best for you as you seek to move into the field you enjoy working in — nothing makes a person feel better than doing something he or she enjoys. It’s good that you feel a positive change coming!
There are many tools one can use to center and find direction. For those of us in the Ifá tradition, divination is one very important way to gain clarity about what kind of energies are around us — including ancestral energies which I’m glad to know you recognize and pray to — and what we should be doing in our lives. If you feel comfortable doing so, I would encourage you to have a consultation with an Ifá Priest, who is known as a Babaláwo, such as my mentor, Awo Ifakunle. You may be amazed by the type of clarity that can come from a reading! As well, a trained and knowledgeable priest can make what we call an ancestral pot for you which can help to bring the energies of your ancestors closer to you. For many people, this can lead to feeling more grounded and supported.
In terms of books, one book that I often recommend is called Finding Soul on the Path of Orisa. The author is an Orisa Priestess and, although I don’t agree 100% with all of her viewpoints, I love the book because it is one of the few Orisa-centric books that focuses more on inner development and working on self than on the practices of the religion. It provides some pointers about connecting with ancestors, centering and the like. What I like most is that she admits that the road isn’t quick or easy, but that it’s worth it to do the things that will lead to lasting changes in your life.
Finally, I suggest taking some time to simply be alone and think (and sometimes not think!). Think about what truly makes you happy in life. What would you do if money wasn’t a concern? What do you genuinely enjoy? Once you identify those things, try as best you can to do them. Of course, we have to make money to live but if we can make money doing something as close as possible to what we enjoy, it feels less like work and more like we’re simply doing what we love.
You said that you thought you knew how you wanted your life to be and that you were wrong. I would say that you weren’t necessarily “wrong” but that you have grown and matured and what you want has changed and that’s to be expected. At 5 all we want in life is to play and eat french fries for dinner… at 15 all we want is for our parents to leave us alone, let us go to parties and do whatever we want… at 25 we want something else… at 35 something else, an so on. Growth and maturity help to refine us and get us closer to what we truly and ultimately want. It sounds like you’re going through some growth and I am very excited for you to find the path that will make you feel most satisfied!
All in all, believing that you can be better and doing your best to maintain a positive attitude even when you don’t feel like your 100% there is one of the most important things you can do for yourself to aid your success. Trust yourself, trust the process and believe that you can be better. No one will be perfect but, as one of my childhood mentors always said: “reach for the stars and if you fall, at least you’ll land among the clouds.”
All the best to you today and always. I pray that you find what you are looking for, but most of all I pray that you never stop seeking. Ase!